horrible bdsm au | I'm going to hell

[settering]

[There are some things you can only learn by closely watching other people.

After the last time Tobio asked Oikawa to teach him how to do the jump serve he had resigned himself to watch Oikawa's every movement to try and pick up the move that way instead of aproaching him again. Even if he hadn't felt particularly thrown off by the threat of physical harm, Iwaizumi had told him it would be best to keep his distance. And listening to Iwaizumi could never do anyone any harm.

After practice, when the gym is empty and he's the only one left, he recalls Oikawa's legs and the way his muscles moved. Recalls the arch of his body as he jumps. Recalls the way his hand moves to the perfect spot to spike the ball across the net and back onto the court before his opponent even realizes what happened.

He works until his own jump serve is a crude aproximation and then goes on to finetune it for hours every single day, and for a while it works.

But one night he can't sleep, alone in the dark or his bedroom, and recalls Oikawa's legs and imagines how they would look wrapped around him. Recalls the arch of his body and wonders what it would feel like pressed alongside his own. Recalls the way his hand moves and shivers at the thought of it sliding over his body and replacing his own hand on his dick.

He gets into the habit of masturbating to thoughts and memories of his captain to wind down at the end of the day, and for a while it works.

More and more often he finds observation and imagination overlapping, sitting on the sidelines as Oikawa practices his jump serves Tobio has to draw his knees up to hide his hard-on from the rest of the team while he bites his lip to focus himself back on the game. Once or twice he even has to excuse himself from practice to fix his problem in the bathroom because he can't make it go away through sheer willpower. And that's when it becomes a problem.

He could deal with it if it didn't interfere with volleyball but it does and refuses to miss practice over something so stupid. A sensible person would find a solution on their own, or else talk to someone who can be trusted.

No one has ever accused Tobio of being sensible.

The only way he knows how to solve a problem is with blunt force and head on. Which brings him to approach Oikawa after practice.

Oikawa-san...

[If he can figure out how to phrase his problem that is.]

Comments

[settering]

[Don't laugh at him senpai, he's bearing his heart here. Or something.]

Maybe not, but I know my own feelings better!

[Debatable]

[tooruler]

You have feelings for me?!

[Oikawa thought he was horrified before, but no, this is the face of true terror.]

[settering]

Maybe!?

[That's... not what you said earlier Kags. Oikawa is making him more confused than he already was.

And he can't exactly just come out that his feelings about Oikawa all involve his dick now can he?]

[tooruler]

[Not if he wants Oikawa's head not to fly off at least.]

What do you mean maybe?!

[settering]

I don't know! It's confusing!!

[He's never felt this way about a specific person before. Just figure it out so he doesn't have to say it and fix it Oikawa.]

[tooruler]

You're confusing!

Either you like me and you want to go out or you don't and this is pointless and gross!

[settering]

You're pointless and gross!

[...

In his defense, he's like 12.]

[tooruler]

[Oikawa nearly tells Kageyama his mom's pointless and gross but he is not twelve and Kageyama's mother is lovely. She gave him a cookie once. So instead he takes a breath. Tries very hard not to want to strangle Kageyama.]

You're not going to persuade me with that attitude, Tobio-chan.

[settering]

[It has occured to Tobio that words might not be his strongest suit.

And if he's going to be unable to convince Oikawa this way than there's only one logical solution, right?

He grabs the front of Oikawa's jersey and pulls him forward so he can smash his mouth against Oikawa's.

That should do the trick.]

[tooruler]

[Wh-what is happening?!

Kageyama is going to stretch his jersey!!

Also his lips are soft, but his teeth are not and they sure are hitting Oikawa's teeth. Gross.

Does get Kageyama's point across okay though. Kageyama has an emotion.]

[settering]

[At least one whole emotion.

On tv and in movies first kisses always look way better than this. Smashing their teeth together kind of hurts and Oikawa smells of sweat and is not kissing back at all.

What is he doing wrong?

Oh right, tongue. He has one of those. Maybe it will work to just, kind of, lick Oikawa's mouth a little. That's totally hot, right?]

[tooruler]

[Erk!!

This is, this is Oikawa's first kiss!! And all it's missing from his worst nightmares is Iwaizumi throwing a volleyball at the back of his head and making Kageyama bite his tongue off.

Then, Kageyama adds spit into the mix.

Oikawa may cry.

Or at least he's going to grab him by the shoulders and push him away. Soon. He'll do that soon. Because he's not going to end his first kiss by letting it be a total and absolute failure. So he parts his lips and pushes against Kageyama's mouth, attempting to poke his tongue between Kageyama's lips but only managing to shove it against his tongue.]

[settering]

[If Oikawa cries than so will he and that will only make this kiss worse so suck it up, senpai.

Having another tongue pressed up against his though, that's new. It's soft but strong and wet and it's a little lewd but it's Oikawa so he doesn't mind too much.

He tentatively slides his tongue further along Oikawa's, chasing his back into his mouth and licking at his teeth.]

[tooruler]

[He's not sucking anything up right now, because that "anything" would be Kageyama's spit and he really doesn't much want to do that. Particularly because it's Kageyama's. That is most certainly a factor here. That Kageyama's tongue is in his mouth is a different issue that somehow is not entirely - well... no, it is entirely but that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of the universe - gross.

Oikawa unfreezes enough to put his hand on the back of Kageyama's neck to keep them steady. There's still too much spit and too many teeth and his stomach feels worse than it does right before a match but at the very least he's not about to fall over kissing his kouhai.]

[settering]

[He moans a little in appreciation of the steady hand on the back on his neck, angling his head to fit more comfortably and hey! That helps with the teeth issue, who knew?

His own hands he brings up to rest on Oikawa's waist, his fingers pulling on the soft material of his jersey a little to bring him closer.]

[tooruler]

[Oh, he can almost start to see the appeal of kissing with Kageyama having tilted his head. Not to mention moaning. He could get used to that.

If it wasn't with Kageyama. A fact Kageyama's hands in his shirt abruptly reminds him of, he pulls away and tries not to look like he momentarily enjoyed having Kageyama's tongue in his mouth.]

Why?

[He's a little out of breath and there's an awful, cold feeling around his stomach, like something metal is closing in on it.]

[settering]

[He tries to follow Oikawa's lips when they pull away but it quickly becomes clear that Oikawa is done. He releases his grip on Oikawa's shirt and takes a step back to give him some space.

If he were the type of person to reflect on his actions, now would be a good time. But instead he just pouts. He thinks that was a nice kiss, he has no frame of reference but it seemed nice enough.]

Why what?

[tooruler]

[Kageyama never makes any sense, he shouldn't have expected him to but somehow he had a tiny piece of hope left that he'd start about now.

So it's definitely the hope that means his next words are said in something akin to a shriek.] Why kiss me?

[settering]

Because I like you? [We've been over this, senpai.]

You didn't believe me so I thought I should show you.

[tooruler]

Kissing me doesn't mean you like me!

People kiss people they don't like all the time. [The conclusions people come up with when their family has issues.]

[settering]

Why would anyone do that? [That doesn't make sense at all.

He laces his fingers together in front of him to keep his hands from shaking. And if it helps cover up that he thought that kiss was nice that's good too.]

[tooruler]

[Oikawa snorts and follows it with a bitter laugh.]

All kinds of reasons, I don't expect you to understand. You've got a lot to learn, Tobio-chan.

[Like that of course Oikawa can see the tremor in Kageyama's hands.]

[settering]

So teach me. [Because that has worked out so well for him in the past.

At least he's perceptive enough to notice Oikawa's gaze going down and, holy shit can senpai see his boner? He moves his hands to grip the hem of his shirt instead and tugs down on it to cover any evidence.]

[tooruler]

[Well, Oikawa's thinking about it for more than half a second, which is better than when he asks for volleyball things.

What is Kageyama hiding?

That's not to stop his hands shaking so-] You're disgusting, Tobio-chan. [But guess who's looking at Kageyama's general crotch area? It's Oikawa and he.... doesn't want to look away. Even though there's nothing to see. Maybe Kageyama's contagious.] Why would I want to teach you?

[settering]

[His knuckles turn white as he grips the hem of his shirt stronger. Oikawa looking down at him isn't helping at all. And even being called disgusting isn't enough to get him to calm down.

It seems to be doing the opposite.]

Because you kissed back.